Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
