oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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