Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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