dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
