Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
