is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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