HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
