I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
