Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
