hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
