so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
