I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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