The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
