just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
