i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she peed on how many people?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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