She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
