Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
