one two three fourrrrnication!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
