I wish I could punch you in the face.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
