I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
