is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
