Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
