You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize