this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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