Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
