Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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