so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
