if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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