Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
