haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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