he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize