Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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