And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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