i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize