vagina is talking i cant
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
