Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
