my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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