meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize