I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have post one night stand depression
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