How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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