I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
