sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
