There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They took my balls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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