can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
