So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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