is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
