I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
