Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
