took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize