She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
