if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
