So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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