Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
