Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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