I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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