my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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