Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
