Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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