The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
