Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
