I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize