in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize