I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
