It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
