I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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