I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
