and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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