It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this will be a night to untag.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
