what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
