You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize