apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize