White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize