My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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