thus making me awesome and them whores
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
