She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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