you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
